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Healing after a Break Up

Healing after a Break Up

Losing a relationship in life is never easy, especially if you and your partner were together for a significant amount of time. The pain you feel may feel like you’re experiencing a death. When in reality you are. While it may not be a physical death, it is an emotional one because you have to mourn the death of a relationship.

Often times people make the mistake of moving on quickly and jumping into another relationship right away but I’ve learned that giving yourself time to heal after a break up is more beneficial. Letting yourself grieve is one of the most important steps in the healing process. When you don’t allow yourself to grieve you carry that sadness, resentment & pain into future relationships. Then you find yourself starting a new relationship with cracks in the foundation. If the foundation isn’t built correctly, you can’t expect anything to stand firm on it.

After a breakup you should develop a selfish mentality. Yes it’s okay to be selfish sometimes! You’ve spent all those years being connected to someone else that you’ve lost a sense of who you are as an individual. This would be the perfect time to get to know who you are in this space and time. It may be confusing and frustrating at first but in time you’ll find out new things about yourself. To help with the process you can do things like find a hobby, either something you love to do or something you’ve always wanted to do but never found the time to. Also, try doing something outside of your comfort zone. For example, if you’re a horrible dancer, take a salsa class or if you’re the furthest thing from flexible, take a yoga class. You may find that what you disliked 5-10 years ago are things that you absolutely enjoy now. If you’ve been slacking on growing your business, use this time to go hard! Always surround yourself with positive people with positive energy that you can go out and have a good time with. Pamper and nurture yourself so when you meet someone worth your time and energy you can be ready to move on without carrying any baggage from your last relationship. The key is to make sure that you are happy being alone, by yourself in your own company before entering into a new relationship.

If you’re going through a break up, understand that the pain does not last forever and if you allow yourself to heal first, brighter days lay ahead.


~Queen Kiara

  • Theodore Wilson, Jr.
    June 6, 2017

    This was awesome. I needed to read this. Thank you for putting things in perspective for me

  • Paula D. Whitfield
    June 12, 2017

    Great article. Great advice. Well taken. After a 28 yr. Zip relationship, it is very necessary to get to know you again. Give yourself time to heal.

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